aries: angriest asshole award
taurus: number two and loving it award
gemini: superficial nervous wreck award
cancer: crybaby emotionpants award
leo: egotist extraordinaire award
virgo: petty perfectionist award
libra: indecisive “individual” award
scorpio: secretive bastard award
sagittarius: expert exaggerator award
capricorn: condescending parent award
aquarius: complete weirdo award
pisces: idealistic idiot award